A is for:

This post is brought to you by the letter "A"!
A for Adorable as usual:

A for Airplane:

A for the acute cause of Amyloidosis that I was stricken with causing my call-in to work for Friday's shift and forcing me all the way to Houston.
(There really is a lack of illnesses and diseases that start with the letter "A." My second-in-line was going to be Aortic dissection, but the likelihood of my blogging during this aortic dissection would be slim to none)
All lies aside, Kori already had plans to go see Dad this past weekend, and I got a last-minute flight to do the same. I worked Monday/Tuesday, and, aside from the shift I was supposed to work Friday, I don't have to be back until tomorrow. Enter: sick call-in. Bye bye PTO. Hello family, food, and 100 degree temperatures.
I am tempted to delete my most recent post as it no longer applies. The situation described in that post actually would have been the best-case scenario (as far as bad scenarios go, I mean), and now we're looking at a different picture. If I were to give other people advice in this situation, it would probably be to take it at face value and not let their (my) minds embellish the information in either direction on the spectrum until there are facts to support such embellishments. That's the plan: to have no plan. But I won't pretend that the lack of plan is a comforting plan, ya feel me?
Anyway, that's not what this is about. This post is brought to us by the letter "A," and the weekend must go on!
First, Abdominal pain. Delicious, delicious abdominal pain:

The weekend was basically a big food fest, and my oh my it was good. Burgers, BBQ, brunch, Mexican food. When we waddled inside the house in Lupe Tortilla comas Kori said "What a way to end it. I ate like I was never going to eat again." Amen sister.
Appropriately Analytical wall art (at Gatlin's BBQ no less.)

Kori and Adam's first wedding Anniversary (I'm so pleased his name fits into the "A" theme!). They have bed-and-breakfast plans in Fredericksburg this upcoming weekend, so they were okay with Kori spending the day in Houston this year.

Don't worry, Adam, distance makes the heart grow fonder and more full of candy and slim jims. A fiesta awaits you!
Ayiyiyiyiyi!
And now, that's All folks, Adieu, Adios, Alveterzane... that's all I got.

I am a wound-up ball of emotion this weekend; you've been warned. Not necessarily in a negative way, though not necessarily always positive either.

My cup is overflowing with the positive: we had beautiful weather this weekend. We spent some time outside browsing the Reston town center and watching Andrew's frisbee game yesterday morning. We tried a new Indian food restaurant near the apartment on Friday night and absolutely loved it. There has been ice cream x 2, epic Harry Potter movie 3D imax (what what!) x 1, and hugs x.... a lot. Right now I have eggs and milk coming to room temperature on the counter so I can make Sunday pancakes when Andrew wakes up.

Did you know that tip about pancakes? There is lots of technique to pancakes. I digress.

On the other end of the emotional spectrum, I'm not very big on mass public disclosure. But, because I don't publicly link to this blog on the ol' F-book anymore, I feel comfortable getting serious for a hot minute with the handful of you that keep the link to this blog.

My dad has had a lucky streak of dodging some bullets in the oncological world in the past few years. I didn't have a very good feeling about it when he called last week with reports of not feeling well lately and something questionable on a CT scan, but there seemed to be reasonable evidence that it might just be nothing. He got his biopsy results quicker than expected, and he said it is a recurrence of a previous testicular cancer. I asked him what the plan was, and he cheerfully responded "chemo!"

Dad will always deliver his worst news in his most positive fashion. Honestly I knew he must have had bad news when he called because of the way he was joking and chatting with Andrew before I could get to the phone. I suppose it's something about being a parent that I might understand some day.

Chemo? Something that, as a nurse who's given it, I know too much about. On one hand the extra knowledge is comforting as the concept of "chemotherapy" isn't as terrifyingly foreign as it would have been a few years ago. I know not all chemo drugs are even close to being the same. I know which ones are more harsh than others. I know what questions I want to ask. I know what I could warn him about. I know what precautions he needs to take after he starts. I know warning signs he needs to look out for.

But this is my dad, and I don't want any of those things for him.


And that's really the bottom line isn't it? I'm his daughter, not his nurse. There is a lot optimism in the fact that this cancer usually responds very well to treatment. I could spit out some numbers and statistics for you.

But talking about "odds" at all is not something that settles in my stomach very well. I don't care what they are. And I guess that's where I'm at this weekend. There really aren't more details at this point other than what I've shared, which I suppose I'm fine with considering the details at hand just don't fit.

"Well, because this happens to other people, not our people." I think Mom did a good job summing it up.

America!!

[heck] yeah!

(I can't drop the F bomb on the blog, it just feels wrong.)

We had a fun 4th of July in our nation's cap-i-tol (channeling F. Gump).

We had brunch at our current (only) fave brunch spot in DC - Founding Farmers - and then we were off to see what there was to see. We caught a part of a super lame parade whose participants looked absolutely miserable (and who can blame them? It was HOT!), and then we walked all the way to the Jefferson memorial since it was Independence Day and such. Between the trek to Jefferson, back to Lincoln, to nowhere, back to Lincoln, to the national mall - WOOF! Andrew mapped it later, and we probably covered about 9 miles on foot. In flip flops.

To say I had back pain at work the past 2 days would be an understatement. Oh the joys of being old and crooked.

The firework show at night was AMAZING - best I've ever seen. And honestly? The rush back to the metro was not that bad, and the 15 minutes of squishing uncomfortably close to a bunch of strangers on the train was not enough to turn us off to the whole thing. Everyone told me "HA! Good luck" when I told them we were going into DC for the 4th, but I didn't think the crowds were anything to write home about!

Oh, and I made pie.

I thought using frozen puff pastry (Dufour brand - worth every penny! Amazing) would make this an easy process, but I was wrong. Maybe I'll give a rundown of the recipe later.

Other news: Harry Potter and Winnie the Pooh both come out next weekend. WE. ARE. THRILLED! I don't think we're doing the midnight premier, but we'll be getting in on the HP action next Friday or Saturday.

Other other news: I'm thankful to live with someone who willingly gives excellent back (and foot!) massages when I need it. I was so tired after 3-in-a-row at work last week that I cried at the pressure to decide where we were going to eat. Who am I?! I get a little wacky when I'm tired and starving.

I'm halfway through my orientation at work, which is kind of terrifying. Time flies! I've gotten comfortable taking 2 easier patients and keeping up with all the workload and documentation, but now we need to start getting sicker patients with more complication, more drips, whatever. I know there will be tons of things I won't get exposed to during orientation, and that makes me really nervous for the day I'm on my own. Everyone helps each other so much, so that won't be an issue, but YIKES! Some of these people are so, so unbelievably sick, I don't want to miss something. My preceptor continues to be ultra supportive - she is even switching her schedule around to go with me for my nightshifts coming up. My hired schedule is 50% days 50% nights, but I only have to do like two weeks of nights during orientation - the first two nights being next week! I'm glad that she'll be making the switch with me - it helps having consistency. Being with somebody else sets me back for half the day because of their tendency to take over before they know where I'm at.

BUT, regardless of all my worrying, I really like being in the ICU. I like being able to focus on two people and having so much information about them at my fingertips, and I like learning how to take care of people that are, essentially, trying their hardest to die.

That's all for now friends. I have a blind girl-date tomorrow with a friend of Pat's from law school. I miss all you girls back in Austin - still working on meeting people out here! I hope all is well in yall's worlds!

If you'll excuse me...

I'll be back after a few more days of this.

The Happy Hap

I think I would be more motivated to update my blog if I knew how to make it look pretty.

Just thought I'd let you know.

I can't believe I've been out here for 2 months. I've settled into more of a routine, Andrew has officially moved in, and it's been full-force at work for a few weeks now.

Needless to say, the Bug has settled in just fine as well.

Andrew moved in last weekend in the middle of my work marathon. If I'm working multiple days in a row, there's not much time between getting home and going to bed to repeat the long day again (especially now that I've got the 20-30 minute commute). That's nothing new, but my short time (awake) at home is so much nicer with him here to spend it with! Even on nights that I'm computer-ing and he's in the other room video game-ing, I think we both are enjoying each other's company.

And drinking wine out of a dinosaur glass.

And metro-ing into DC.

And purchasing flirtatious printers.

Tomorrow night we might go to a Nationals game, and Saturday (if the weather holds up) is our first game in our frisbee league.

...Wait. WHAT? I know. Do I know how to play ultimate frisbee? No. Can I throw a frisbee? Sometimes. Andrew's always loved playing pick-up frisbee games even when I knew him in high school, and he convinced me to join the "just for fun" summer league. He tells me it will be acceptable in this league to not have any coordination, talent, etc, so here goes nothin'! 

In the working world:

My new job is challenging me a lot, and it brings back a lot of nerves similar to being a new nurse. At this "phase" in my orientation, my preceptor Windy and I are supposed to be assigned 2 "stable" patients so I can get some of the basics down before taking on the really sick patients. Unfortunately, at this point, "stable" patients in the Neuro ICU are still incredibly un-stable according to my comfort zone, not to mention it's frustrating me that I am so slow at everything. I miss being able to pull out meds or chart assessments or troubleshoot equipment quickly without having to think so much about it. And with assessments/charting/flowsheets that need to be updated hourly, sometimes I feel like I'm barely treading water with the tasks of "easy" patients. <--- not to mention that it irritates me that I am reverting back to the new-nurse-curse of being too task-oriented. At this point, though, I know I need to be focusing on some of these tasks. If i don't get it down now, I won't be able to do it quickly when it really counts. I'm told that everybody feels this way at the beginning, and that I'm doing fine so far.

...But man, I look at my co-workers managing these patients who are trying to die - intubated, sedated, cooled, septic, bolted, on CRRT, whatever - and it's hard to imagine that I'll be able to take care of 2 of them while keeping up with the documentation of all this craziness on my own in a few months. During one of our crazier days last week we got a new SAH patient that needed to be intubated early in our shift. It was the first time I've gotten my hands on what it's like to take a patient who starts out on nothing but Normal Saline and, within the hour, ends up with multiple fluid boluses, electrolytes, propofol, versed, nicardipine, fentanyl, and a ventilator to account for. It was challenging enough for me to keep track of each drug's amount and volume on the flowsheet - some of them pushed, some of them drips, some of them alternating between the two - much less managing the patient himself, who now has nasty secretions, moments of trying to wake up despite all the drugs, and whacked out vital signs.

Oh, and then we had to take this whole mess to CT scan and IR. Gone are the days that I get a break when a patient goes to a test - now I go with them. And their drips. And their vent. And their likelihood to code in the elevator.

(And with my wonderful, amazing, understanding, crazy smart preceptor. Thank the Lord for her!)

I think I can I think I can I think I can...

Honeymooning

Holy EVD, I love my new job.

I keep bracing myself for the first nightmare-ish day that is bound to be in my near future, but for now, I'm honeymooning.

I've only had 2 shifts on the unit, and everyone has already made me feel so comfortable. My preceptor Windy is fantastic, and I'll be with her throughout my entire fellowship. She explains everything without hesitation, and she even brought in one of her textbooks to start going over some of the advanced patho that I haven't had to be responsible for yet. I've just been shocked (and grateful) at the initiative everybody has taken to help me hit the ground running. They definitely have a strong team going there - help is constantly being offered from all directions, whether it's for quick turns, stat labs, meds, recording q1h vitals, signing off orders, whatever. Since quitting at Brack I've been worried that my next job might not come with great co-workers, and I'm so relieved that, in fact, it does!

As for new stuff? Yyyyeah. Lots. I'm starting to catch on to soooome of the "normals" in terms of common orders/treatments - tight BP control with pressors or antihypertensives, tight sodium level control with 3% NS drips and/or boluses to keep swelling down in the brain, etc etc. I got a little practice with EVDs/A-lines/vents. One of our patient's A-lines wasn't reading well, and the doctor came in the afternoon and placed a new one at the bedside. I was completely worthless and unable to assist him in any way besides plugging in the ultrasound machine, but it was good to watch Windy do it so I can try to flub my way through next time.

Weirdest moment was looking at the code buttons on the wall - "MSET" is what they call their code blue,  and there's another button for "rapid response" - and I asked if you would push rapid response if a patient was on his way to coding but not quite there yet. Windy said "well, I guess, but we are the rapid response team. It would probably be faster to just shout for help."

We are the rapid response. Geez. So much to learn. I can't wait until I feel like I know what I'm doing, whenever that will be.

Worst part of the day? Drop of blood on my cute work tennies, dangit.

Best non-work part of the day? I pulled into the garage and noticed almost all the empty boxes had been cleared out, and some of my boxes of Christmas stuff had been moved into the garage. YAY Andrew! He offered to make me a salad or get my food together while I got in the shower. Where am I?! I am so not used to anyone being home when I get back from work, and I gotta say it was nice.

And bless him for listening to all my work ramblings today as well as all the ramblings he will tolerate in the future. Amen.

And now we sleep.

Dotting i's, Crossing T's, and Eating Fools for Breakfast

"I need your identification documents and your Virginia nursing license"
"Here's my Texas license. I've applied for my Virginia license. It's in process."
[wait nervously while lady checks a paper on her desk]
"Ok. That'll work."

Aaaand fist pump. Someone else told me I couldn't start next week unless I had a letter from the Board of Nursing saying I can practice under my Texas license for 30 days while the other one processes. ...But it takes 10 business days of processing my application before I can even get that letter. Pointless middle step? I think so. Whoever gave me my paperwork yesterday didn't mention this letter, neither did I, and I will officially be starting my off-site orientation on Monday. Yay paycheck! Yay work!

(Yay work?)

On an unrelated note, I saved baby Juno from a (non) fire at the apartment complex the other night around 3 AM. In reality the storm outside struck something that set off the fire alarms, but at the time I figured better safe than sorry. First thought: are those tornado sirens? Is a tornado blowing through my apartment? Am I alive? Yes, I am alive. Second thought: Is it my fire alarm or everyone's? It's everyone's. Third thought: I guess I'll put kitty in her carrier and head outside. Wait. Carrier is not assembled. Next best thing: grab her and put a raincoat over her.

After taking my cat outside where the alarms were 10 times louder and the rain was pouring down, I realized that nothing was on fire, and my skin was no longer intact. I took kitty back inside, pried her kitty claws out of my skin, and thought about my alarm that would be going off in 3 hours. Grrrrr.

And that, my friends, is the thrilling tale of the Great Apartment Fire of 2011. I eventually fell back asleep for about 2 hours, woke up grumpy and exhausted, and had a nice big bowl of fools for breakfast.  (#danidias)

Next, you'll find our hero spending 3 hours of life in CPR renewal class. Stay tuned.

Lessons Learned in the 703: A List from 1-10

In no particular order.

1. Starting to cook for somebody else is very different than cooking for yourself. You are conscious (self-conscious?) of every single component of every meal, wondering if the other person thinks it's okay or not.

2. I didn't know what rush hour traffic was until I moved to a place that designates the main highway as HOV only from 5:30-9:30 AM and 3:00 to 7:00 PM. I know which route I won't be taking for work...!

3. I love being Suzy Homemaker. This morning while Andrew was in the shower I set out all the cereal options, a bowl and spoon, and a plate of sliced strawberries. I used to love the way Mom set our cereal out on the table to choose from before school. It's the little things!

4. Juno belongs in a jungle. She loves the view from all her new windows. Bets on the time it takes her to claw her way through our screen door to the balcony?

5. The difficulty I experience with goodbyes doesn't match up with the ease I have settling in somewhere new. I've felt very comfortable here from the start, but I suppose my partner in crime has something to do with that.

Partners in crime, rather.

6. ...That is not to say that I don't immediately start crying at the thought or mention of any other changes that may occur in the next 5 years. I guess that might mean I am still adjusting :P

7. Spring. As in, what it is. I'm enjoying learning this lesson.

8. Your gut is always right. Always! I am so glad I listened to my gut-feeling and turned down the oncology job in March. The subsequent month (+ some change) of stress and worry was a small price to pay for the opportunity to find a job that felt right, and this job feels right. Remind me of this in a month when I'm blogging about how overwhelmed I am being new to the ICU.

9. Boxes left in your garage and guest room do not get rid of themselves. (But I'm not giving up just yet.)

10. We. Needed. This. It didn't take long for me to feel like I haven't seen him in forever if it's been more than 24 hours, and that, my friends, is how it should be!

Slothing

I'm not sure I can rightfully turn an animal into a verb. Regardless, that's what I am doing: slothing. I'm not sure which event to point the finger at - the Plague that kept me on the couch last weekend, Tuesday's nerves and adrenaline (with no coffee), or the lack of real obligations at the moment - but I have no energy at all. I slept well last night for the first time in a few days, but somehow I still ended up joining the kitty back in bed this afternoon on my way to start a load of laundry. I did a few productive things yesterday and this morning, but overall? Couch. Part of me feels guilty like I ought to be doing something, but, then again, there will be plenty of "something" to come.

Because I got a J-O-B.

[Insert big, giant sigh of relief. And a big, giant glass of wine.]

When Andrew and I were deciding where we wanted to live out here some of my opinion was based on the fact that I planned to work at Inova Fairfax Hospital in Falls Church. The Inova system of hospitals has locations all over the place, but Inova Fairfax is the big level I trauma center/magnet-designated hospital. I applied to a handful of positions there about 6 weeks ago, and, as many of you know, I turned down an offer I got from one of the units in that hospital about a month ago. It didn't feel right, I knew I was more interested in the other positions I had applied to, and I made the (scary) decision to turn it down without knowing if I even had interviews for the others.

[Enter the longest wait of all time with weekly calls and e-mails to HR]

Was it nice moving and settling in without worrying about starting work right away? You're darn right it was. Was the employment issue still on my mind all day every day? Ohhh yes. I sent in some applications to Georgetown University Hospital the week I moved here, thinking I would just have to deal with the long commute there and back if it meant I was getting a good job opportunity.

Last week as I was dying on the couch, a phone call interrupted my fever dreams, and I had gotten an interview for the Neuro ICU at Inova Fairfax. I was to come to the unit at 7AM to shadow a nurse for a few hours, and I would interview with the manager after that.

[Queue EXCITEMENT! Disbelief! Panic! Nausea!]

No really, I cried real tears the night before playing mock-interview with Andrew.

Aside from worrying I would blow the interview, I was worried about shadowing and not liking it! Mentally, all my eggs had been in this basket for 6 weeks, and I wasn't sure what direction I'd be taking if this didn't work out. After being in the break room before shift change, though, and listening to everyone talk about their weekend, make sarcastic comments about the new navy-blue scrub policy, and wait for the charge nurse's daily "safety cuddle," I was so reminded of everyone at Brack! Seeing coworkers that are friends with each other speaks volumes - probably the most important thing I saw that day.

I shadowed a nurse for about 3 hours and loved it. There are lots of bells and whistles and equipment I'm not familiar with, but her neuro assessment is the same one I know how to do, and I wasn't clueless about the patients' plans of care like I thought I'd be. I loved how collaborative the unit was - doctors, pharmacists, PAs, nurses, RT, and whoever all working together to come to a conclusion about the new orders. The doctor and pharmacist immediately recognized me as a new face and introduced themselves. I mean, where am I?! I really liked a lot of our docs at Brack, but the vibe here was a lot more group-oriented. I guess it helps that, as a nurse, your two patients are in fishbowls right in front of you, and it's impossible to miss the doctor coming by like I often did at Brack.

After shadowing I was interviewed by the charge nurse and two other nurses, and then I met with the manager in his office. It was by far the least awkward interview I've ever had. There is nothing I hate more than cold questioning with no sort of feedback from the interviewer, and this guy actually chimed in with his own experiences and made the interview more like a conversation. By the end of all of it I had a great impression of the unit and how it's run, and oh my GOODNESS I wanted the job. "We'll let you know either way within the next few days or so." I celebrated the good interview with a much-needed Starbucks, a bunch of phone calls, and the couch.

...And then 3 o'clock rolled around, HR called me to tell me I am being offered the job, and I have been on cloud 9 ever since! I am still waiting to hear about my start date. The Fellowship thing I have to go through (classroom component, etc etc) doesn't start til July, but the director and the manager mentioned starting me sooner since it's not like I am a brand new grad. During training I will be doing 70% day shifts and 30% night shifts, and once I am on my own it will be split 50/50. A little inconvenient? Yeah. But it's self-scheduling, and I'll just clump my night shifts into a few weeks and my day shifts into the others. Once the newness and the excitement wears off (which I assume will be the first shift I cry - we all know it will come eventually) I think my tolerance of the rotating shift will wear off as well, but for now I'm willing to deal with some inconvenience.

There you have it, friends! The (really long - sorry) job situation everyone (including myself) has been asking about for the past month or two. I've verbally accepted the offer and saw the application status online change to "offer accepted," but nothing has been signed yet. I assume nothing will happen for this all to fall through, but wouldn't that be a fun twist at the end? (no).

I actually have an interview for the MICU at Georgetown next week, but I am hesitant to cancel it until I've physically signed my offer letter. If that hasn't happened by next Thursday I wonder if I should just go to that interview?

I guess that'll be a blog post for another day.

Happy Cinco!

Diseased

I can't wait to lysol the entire apartment. I hate to even touch the computer with these germ-y hands.

I am on day 2.5 of a nasty cold. I tried to write it off as allergies on Wednesday as I forced myself to run all my little errands, and I probably just ran myself down even more. I spent all of yesterday on the couch with a low fever, and I woke up just about every hour or two last night choking to death on my own chest congestion. I may or may not have stuffed tissue pieces up my nose to keep from dripping on the pillow.

Too much detail? You're right. Moving on.

Andrew brought me (delicious) minestrone soup from Whole Foods last night when he got off work, and he made a second trip out to get me some Tylenol. He stuck some wet dish towels in the freezer for me to cover my head with while we waited for my temp to come down, he took out the trash, and he unloaded my stuffed-full dishwasher.

He also made himself nachos with our leftover food from the night before, which looked intriguingly easy to make. As a cheese-hater dating a cheese-eater, I need to learn how to make these things.

I'm so used to being on my own when I'm sick, and it was really, really nice to have his help. I was hoping today would be the day I wake up feeling like I am on the mend, but no such luck. I'm watching the royal wedding via DVR, drinking my body weight in hot tea, and hoping the kitty cat will come spoon with me shortly.

Coming up:

1. Brian Regan on Sunday! I got tickets for Andrew's birthday since he likes him, and the show is out in Baltimore, MD. I think we're going to make a day of it - we hear Baltimore is pretty cool.
2. Two job interviews that I am really grateful for and excited about. I don't know how many open positions there are vs how many applicants are interviewing, but I need to sit down and really prep so I can go into them feeling confident. Interviews make me so nervous - there is so much I want to say or plan to say, but when people are staring at me blankly, it turns into rambling.
3. Official plans to come to Dallas! I finally found a reasonable price on a flight. I'll be in Dallas June 22-27, and I will be in Austin one or two of those days.

PS - I love Kate's dress. And the whole ceremony. I can't imagine how nervous she must have felt, but she certainly carried it off well! :)

Here We Go!

Real life has officially started in Fairfax, which is probably the best thing that could have happened. I can't do anymore goodbyes! It was hard to see Mom leave on Friday, but I was able to stay distracted with all of the things Kori and I had planned to do and work on in the apartment. We ran exhausting errands all day that day, including dragging a giant area rug through Target, into the pouring rain, and into the car. It barely fit once we laid the passenger seat completely flat and scooted my seat all the way forward. By the time we got all of our other shopping bags from the car to the apartment and were, once again, dragging that rug up the stairs, "IT'S ALMOST OVER!!" became the mantra for survival.
But we were wrong. It was not almost over.
We both threw out our backs after that because (#1) we are obviously old and decrepit, and (#2) we moved all my living room furniture completely out and back to fit the rug.
...And then had to lift up the couch about 700 times to adjust the crooked rug.
But I must say, I am LOVING the end result! I have wanted an area rug for so long!

Still need to get something to go on the wall behind the couch, and I need to finish unpacking so I can re-fill all the shelves of that shelf. For now, my laptop lives there.
I spent most of Saturday (before and after Kori left) trying not to cry. Thinking too much about being so far away from Mom and Kori evokes those same feelings as if I'm 10 years old and homesick during my first days at summer camp. That night Andrew and I had dinner together and saw Water for Elephants (in a super nice theater within walking distance, PS), and after we got home my day-long efforts bottomed out a little bit. I'm lucky and grateful that he understands (and expected) that this is hard for me even though, on the whole, I am obviously glad to be here.

Oh - side note - I loved the movie. I plan to buy the book this week.

Easter Sunday brought absolutely BEAUTIFUL weather. Andrew went out and bought a few plants and flowers to put on our balcony, and he got me a little cactus to remind me of home. We're going to look for a Texas pot of sorts to put it in!

On that note, the view from our balcony/living room window is really great. We have a screen door, and Juno is loving watching and listening to all the birds and other noises. She never got to do that living up high in Austin, which I hadn't even thought about until Andrew pointed it out. She's splits her time about 50/50 - either by the window/screen, or asleep in the middle of my bed. I think I'd choose those spots, too.

Something I had been planning for weeks was to cook something for Easter dinner on our first official day together, and indeed I did. Pot roast (The Pioneer Woman's recipe), mashed potatoes, and browned butter asparagus (from the Cooking Light magazine the last tenant never picked up from her mailbox - woot!). The whole meal was labor-intensive - I had to type out my plan on a Word document so I wouldn't forget to do something - but it has been so much fun cooking for someone else!

Andrew took the leftovers to work, and my inner-homemaker has officially been satisfied :P

More pictures to come on facebook. The two bedrooms and the dining room aren't set up very much at all, but I took a few pictures of the other rooms for now. If I wait until it's completely done to show y'all pictures then there will probably be snow on the ground.

In conclusion, call me. There are only so many errands I can run to keep me busy while Andrew is at work this week. I'm still in the middle of my job search, but that's a headache to discuss on another day!

Big hugs. Miss you all!

Ketchup

And by "ketchup" I mean catch up. Where did we leave off?

Ah. Yes. We did a lot of this our first few mornings in Fairfax (except, you know, not in the car). Mom is probably a 12 on the 1-to-10 scale of happiness that I posted this picture of her. We got into town last Saturday night, and my movers didn't come until this past Wednesday. The gap between arriving and moving was actually a blessing because it gave us a chance to relax every morning, run a few errands, and do some cleaning in the apartment while it was still empty. We even made it into DC one afternoon with Andrew!

Big surprise that my only picture from the afternoon and the American History Museum happens to be of Julia Child's stage kitchen. Never apologize!!


And now, for the sake of brevity, a list of other important updates between then and now:
1. Uncle Julio's proves to be an acceptable location for Tex-Mex out here, which is a nice surprise since I expected Tex-Mex to be completely out of the question.
2. The cool air feels AMAZING, and it's blowing my mind that "summer weather" doesn't actually start until late May.
3. My new Whole Foods is super great.
4. The new apartment is also super great - and big! (Pictures of the empty place to follow eventually! I took them on my real camera, and I'm not sure where I put my cord to upload the pictures)
5. I have infinite amounts of packing paper in my possession.

Even so, there were a few casualties from the move: a broken foot on one of my nightstands, broken hinges on my bookcase (which Andrew is going to try to fix), and a broken decorative plate I've had since my very first apartment sophomore year. Considering how many breakable kitchen items came in this move, I'd say that's not too bad. We've made good headway on some of the un-packing. THANK GOODNESS Mom and Kori are here, that's all I have to say. It's amazing how much more can get done with multiple sets of hands working. Kori single-handedly washed, dried, and put away every single pot, pan, and baking dish I own, and any of you who know me know how big of a feat that is!

Speaking of Kori, she arrived Wednesday with baby kitty in tow! Juno did great going through security and on the flight, and she has been in kitty heaven exploring all of the boxes and paper all over the new apartment. Not to mention she came home to some new items for herself:

We were happy to see each other - she has been extra snuggly ever since the car ride home from the airport!

Tonight we met Andrew at the Reston Town Center to go to Morton's for his (very belated) birthday dinner. I hadn't been to Morton's since senior prom (...with Andrew. Time flies), but the molten chocolate cake was as good tonight as it was back then. Nomnomnomnom.

Tomorrow morning Kori and I plan to take Mom to the airport (sad!), do some Target/World Market shopping, do some more unpacking, and then meet Andrew to go out in Georgetown tomorrow night. I can't believe Kori leaves Saturday! Or that Mom leaves tomorrow! I am getting nervous about living so far from my family, and that was always something that made the decision to move difficult back when I started thinking about it. On the whole this has been tough for me, and I haven't quite felt myself for the majority of the week. It's hard being so far away and not quite knowing where I fit in around here yet, but each day starts to feel more and more like home. Little things like the metro card Andrew bought me and discussions on how to fix my broken bookcase remind me of all the normal day-to-day things we've missed out on the past few years. I think we definitely will have some adjusting to do this summer as we both settle in to our new situation, but the normalcy most definitely feels good already. We need it.

And now: sleep. Juno kept me up nearly all night last night with her forceful cuddle sessions, and I can't wait to (hopefully) get some good sleep tonight.

I miss all of you guys very much, and rest assured that the Texas fight song and Eyes of Texas get played daily in my car thanks to the CD Sarah made me :)

...STILL On the Road Again: Day 3

We made it! Today was our fastest drive yet! We got into our hotel around 4pm even with the food/bathroom breaks. Mom and I were both really tired during this drive. We stopped about an hour and a half after we started in search of good coffee. We gave up on finding a Starbucks out in the boonies, so we stopped at a McDonalds (along with the rest of that little town, it seemed). Naturally, two exits later, we saw a highway sign for a Starbucks. CURSES!

There are no fun pictures from today's drive because we were too busy trying not to kill anybody else or ourselves in all of the rain and wind. Mission: accomplished.

We also found out that we left one of mom's toiletry bags at the hotel (in the lobby, in fact - it somehow didn't make it from our big pile of stuff to the car). She's out at Walmart finding some make-up and things to hold her over until they ship her stuff to her, and I am waiting for Andrew to come pick us up! We're going to go see the new place then get some dinner (and, preferably, a drink!). It feels good to finally be here, and I think Mom and I are both glad not to be getting up to pack and do another big day of driving.

I have been in 4 states in 3 days! Can't wait to show yall the new place! :)

On the Road Again: Day 2

We are officially in the Eastern time zone!! Exciting because we are close to our destination. Less exciting to think about the early morning feeling even earlier tomorrow. But mostly exciting!

Our hotel seriously dropped the ball in the coffee department. Not good. There wasn't a Starbucks near-by, but I pushed through. My half of the drive was uneventful (and I like it that way), and we mostly listened to our book on tape. We stopped in Jackson, TN for lunch. I've been doing no-meat-Fridays with Andrew during Lent, so I made use of the food I brought along for the trip and made a PB samich knowing none of the (non-scary) lunch options were very meat-free. Mom decided she wanted KFC, and it ended up being a KFC buffet. Neither of us had ever heard of those, but Mom took full advantage and had TWO big plates. I wanted to participate and got a side dish of the most delish fast food green beans ever, and I think our KFC stop was, surprisingly, the highlight of the day.

SPORK!!!

Mom's drive consisted of rain. Lots of rain.

We weren't even sure if we were going to venture all the way to Knoxville if it was really bad, but we made it finally. I think these storms are still moving east, and I have a feeling we'll be driving with them when we keep going east tomorrow. It will be nice to finally GET there, I am starting to get stir-crazy with this whole sit-eat-sit-eat-sit-sleep schedule. Andrew picked up our keys to the new place this afternoon, and he said there were a few issues like spots of dirty carpet and bad patch-jobs on the wall, but it sounds like management is going to have those taken care of by Monday. Since the carpet needs to be shampooed it's probably a good thing that my furniture isn't due to arrive til (most likely) Wednesday.

Why is sitting in a car so exhausting? I've probably got a DVT I've been sitting so long, and yet I can't wait to go to bed. Next stop Fairfax! Woo!

On the Road: Day 1

Mom and I said we were going to hit the road by 8 AM, and, somewhat to my surprise, we actually did.

Mom kind of loved the coffee in the lobby of the Super 8 (Yes, the Super 8 on the side of I-35 - hinting towards ghetto, but still with free wi-fi!). She opted for two cups of it rather than Starbucks. I was planning to drive the first half of the trip, so my usual Starbucks drink was non-negotiable. No offense Super 8.

Yesterday was super rough emotionally. I knew it would be hard to say bye to people over the weekend, but I was kind of surprised at how tough it was to say bye to the place also. And we didn't even drive away until this morning! It definitely hit me yesterday that I am leaving my home, but with a three-day drive ahead of us it hasn't really hit me where my new home is! The middle ground is really unsettling to me, and I'm looking forward seeing Andrew on Saturday.

After listening to the Bobby Bones Show for the last time for now I remembered the CD Sarah made me that was waiting in my purse. I teared up listening to "19 and Crazy" and "If It Wasn't for Texas," and I loved loved loved that the last song was The Eyes of Texas. Great send-off, thanks Miss Sarah.

Lunch options were looking pretty disappointing in Greenville/Sulpher town/wherever we were around 12:30, and then emerged from the trees (or the cluster of McDonalds. McDonaldses?):

I never eat fast food these days, but let's be honest, Braum's is a front-runner. I texted this picture to Kori because I knew she would be jealous. Her response: "UGH! So jealous!" <-- success.

Enter: lazy time. Mom's turn to drive, and my turn to digest Braum's for the next 5 hours.

We started the book on tape that Mom and Kori picked out last week - it's Kristin Hannah, but I don't remember the name of it. 10 seconds after listening to the voice reading the prologue Mom said "I feel like she is about to start talking pornography," which made it hard to concentrate on the story through all of our giggling at descriptions of tall trees and other suggestive things. We composed ourselves and listened to the book for the rest of the trip - I think that only got us through 3 chapters though. I'm interested to keep listening, but I'd like to tell the characters to buck up and grow a spine - really? You're so afraid? Your friend's been dating your brother for a week. It isn't that scary.

Fast forward to Little Rock, Arkansas where we tried two hotels with no available rooms whatsoever, and we ended up at this lovely Hilton Garden place where we had some AH-MAZING salmon at their little restaurant, watched the American Idol result show, and showered as if I have never showered before.

...Actually it was a really rushed shower because Mom said a new episode of The Office was on. I've been saying how the show needs to cancel itself now that Steve Carell will be gone, but I guess placing Will Ferrell in the next 4 episodes is a good move to keep people watching. Well played, well played.

PS - Andrew picks up keys to the new place tomorrow - can't wait to show pictures, we really like it! The date all my crap will arrive with the movers is still pending.

Next stop: Knoxville, TN.

In my life, I've loved them all

A random selection of a few of my favorite moments the past few weeks. In no particular order, I've Alamo Drafthouse'd with the girls to see Clueless and Breakfast at Tiffany's, spent time in the good sunshine with a good friend, celebrated a friend's future baby boy (team blue!) with cupcakes and pictionary, successfully dunked on an inflatable basketball court, answered medical trivia for candy, attempted to force-feed pizza to a toddler, eaten myself sick on tex-mex and Amy's Ice Cream, cried for a friend and how proud I am of her, window-shopped the SoCo hot spots, sent Andrew a gift and a cake for the last time via snail mail, reconnected face-to-face with one of my favorite people for the first time in years, learned amazing news from a close friend, hugged lots of hugs, drank lots of beers, and felt my throat close up for the first time last night as the emotion of it all finally hit me. I am spending this weekend surrounded by special friends, then the baton will be passed to Mom and Kori to pack the last boxes with me and see me through the drive and the move-in.

New phases in life have always been emotional for me. The excitement for wonderful things to come mixed with the fears of closing an old chapter - it's the same feeling that sat in the pit of my stomach when I started high school, hugged Mom goodbye after moving into my college dorm, and walked into Brackenridge with RN on my name tag. It's about growing up, changing, learning, and trusting that your gut will steer you where you need to go. My time in Austin is going into the archives as the place that taught me the most about who I am and where I'm going, gave me some of the most fierce hangovers of my life, and brought amazing people into my world whom I intend to take with me through the next 50 chapters of my life.

So it's time to go put on a dress and soak up the weekend, and in about a week's time I'll be walking into my new life greeted by the person who makes it all worth it.

Small weekend disclaimer: I reserve the right to cry spontaneously.

See you out there, friends!

An update for you..

Anxiety, excitement, anticipation, nervousness, apprehension, curiosity, suspense...

The common denominator?

Nausea.

Back to Square One?

Remember this? My collection of pens and pamphlets from (what felt like) every hospital in Texas, and the nausea that came with the impending job search before graduation.

And you know what? That job search was pretty miserable. The size of the new-grad applicant pool was shocking, and I initially made the mistake of believing that the online applications I sent in were actually going to be read.

This time around, I'm no longer a new nurse, and I have some real skills to contribute. I'll find a job.

Right? (...right?)

Until today I had some confidence. "I'm not too worried about it," I've said. But now that I've actually started the process, I hate to say that the panicked feeling I remember from the last go-around is settling in already. I will send in my apps, do my best to speak to a real person from HR this week, and hopefully get an interview.

But I honestly don't feel like it's going to happen!  This isn't me trying to be humble or trying not to "jinx" myself, this is the (horrible) feeling I have in my heart of hearts. My only experience with job applications taught me, for the most part, that it doesn't matter how qualified you are, you aren't getting a job. You aren't even getting an interview! You. Are. A. Sucker.

Now I am trying to apply to a hospital across the country that I have absolutely no connection to or contacts in? Am I crazy?

I hope I wake up tomorrow with a different attitude, but for now, I'm just being honest.

That's why the blog is called RAWR.

Stick a Fork in Me

I'm DONE!

I am still waiting for it all to hit me. I thought about it all day at work today. I joked about being sentimental to give pre-dinner insulin for the last time at Brack. I wondered if hanging cytarabine would be my last chemo infusion should I not end up working oncology in Virginia. I thought about how it was likely the last time I'll see the people I don't even know on a personal basis: the pharmacists, the docs, the residents, the night nurses I don't know very well. I thought about how I won't be going back next week to find out how one patient did with part 2 of her surgery, or if another patient finally ended up getting to go home.

But I didn't feel any different because none of that really seemed like the last time. When I clocked out I was thinking about what I wanted to eat for dinner and how many dishes are piled up in my sink.

What I do know is I am so excited for brunch tomorrow - I just did a head-count of the people who plan to be there, and there should be around 15 of us, give or take a few. 15 (over-worked/underpaid?!) RNs with Sunday mimosas. I hope Taverna is ready for us. I didn't feel like I got to spend much time with whoever was working with me these past 2 shifts because all of us were busy, and I think my heart needs tomorrow's brunch to actually spend some quality time with this group of people that has been such a positive presence in my life the past two years.

Are you reading this Brack friends? Cuz I love you guys. When I think about all of my hardest days as a nurse, the first thing that comes to mind is how much you all helped me when I needed it the most. I'm proud of the nurse I've become and owe so much of that to you. I feel blessed - maybe even spoiled - to have worked with co-workers as fantastic as you all in the first years of my career. The words "I hate this place" may have escaped my lips on more than one occasion, but I wouldn't trade even the craziest of patients if it meant I had to have co-workers who were any less than the best.

So now what?

Immediate priorities:
1. Introduce moisture back into my hands during this period free of hospital sanitzer. This will be a difficult challenge, but one I am willing to conquer.
2. Baked donuts. I have all these recipes and a donut pan (who owns a donut pan?), and now is the time for experimentation.
3. Houston rodeo and BBQ with my dad next weekend.
4. Read books.

(And, ya know, find an apartment/job/life in Virginia. Baked aforementioned donuts for Andrew when the recipe is perfected. All of these things don't need to be listed, they are just assumed.)

Isn't it amazing when you know you've been through something and spent time with people you'll never forget? Life is so good!

Forming a Habit

There is something really unsatisfying about the type of title I just typed for this post. The type that is, essentially, exactly what the post is about. No pun. No joke. No creativity.

Why are you reading this again?

Anyway. In light of my upcoming move across the world (or a few states) I am re-committing to this blog and plan to make a habit of it. It's the best way I can think of to take you all with me.

...Which brings me to my next point: "You all" at this time consists of... three people? Four people? I used to link to my blog on Facebook until I felt awkward thinking about how many random people might be reading, but if someone has access to my Facebook, why not the blog? It's harmless enough.

Unless you are one of the morons at HEB. Then this blog might offend you.

Moving day is in April my friends! I will know the exact date once I lock down an apartment during my trip out there in March. In the meantime, the Bucket List is growing, but this is what I've got so far. I'll star the ones I've been to since the official list got started, but most of those are going to at LEAST need one or two more stars each. It's no surprise that most of the bucket list is food-related.

Home Slice*

Kerbey Lane*

Guero's

Torchy's

Amy's Ice Cream*

219 West happy hour

Rather Sweet Bakery and Cafe (Fredericksburg)*

a night out on dirty, dirty 6th Street with disgusting, disgusting shots

Alamo Drafthouse - either a sing-along/girlie night/quote-along/master pancake theater

County Line

kayak on Town Lake

UT campus/tower*

Oasis

smoothies from Lift Cafe

Milk + Honey Spa

Taverna brunch

Z'Tejas brunch

Esther's Follies

Mexican martinis from Iron Cactus

Who's in?!?! Please add to my list because I know I'm missing important things :)

Drumroll Please...

...........

...........

...Okay I don't think that did anything to create dramatic effect. So without further ado, THE big announcement. The one most people already know. The one that will change life as I know it in just a few short months!

(No, not pregnancy. Definitely not pregnancy)

Tomorrow I plan to make it official at work, so now it can be official in public (and by "public," I mean the handful that know this blog exists): I am MOVING to Fairfax, Virginia in April! Why, you ask?

To say we need a little more face time would be an understatement. The bottom line? We would really like to be able to have dinner and watch TV together on a week-night. The thought of being able to do something so normal is what I am most excited about.

So big changes are a-comin'. I am a big ball of nerves thinking about being so far from my family/friends, good Mexican food, Homeslice Pizza, and flip-flops in January, but I am looking forward to new beginnings, an excuse to buy one of those long winter coats, our nation's capitol, and that goofball I kinda like hanging out with.

Don't be fooled by the composure of this post.

I'm most definitely freaking out.

EEEEEE! :-P