"Can you believe this cake is gluten-free, sugar-free, egg-free, and it contains no dairy products?!"

...Well, I guess, but I'm not sure I want to eat it after that stellar description.

I'm not ragging on people with allergies and intolerances. I think it's great that someone's figured out how to make food that resembles the real deal without using, well, any of the things that define the food in the first place. Kids with celiacs can have a birthday cake? Rock on. I love it.

But as for everyone else - really? You pureed black beans into the brownies? You spent 900 dollars on obscure flours? And 900 more on a whole bag of xantham gum you're going to use once to hold the obscure flour concoction together?

If you need some extra fiber in your life, eat a salad. No one wants black beans in their brownies.

Good talk. See ya out there.

An addendum to yesterday's bitterness:

0500, my phone rings, I jerk awake thinking they're calling to tell me I screwed up my clock re-set and am now late for work.

"Kristin? We're canceling two nurses, you're first up."

"Yes."

"Go back to sleep."

At least, those are the highlights I remember from the conversation.

Zilker Park Kite Festival? Town Lake? Yes, those things sound appropriately opposite-of-work.

"Are we being too literal?"

"No you fool. We're following orders. We were told to comb the desert so we're combing it."

Anyone? Anyone?

There was a period of about two years (circa 1996-ish?) where I would watch that movie with my best friend every single time I went to her house. That is, after a few rounds of The Addams Family board game. It never got old. It still hasn't.

The movie, that is. It was on TV today. I can't vouch for the board game. Although if I learned anything from nannying last year it's that no board games are fun. Wah wah wah.

Tonight at 2 AM our clocks move forward just to piss me off, I'm convinced. As if 5:30 doesn't come soon enough already. I set my clocks ahead on my microwave and stove this morning to try to trick myself into going to sleep early tonight. We'll see. It's a pretty sweet deal for night shift. I, too, would like to "spring forward" in the middle of my shift.

Other happenings:

1. Kori and Adam's wedding is going to be perfect. I can say that because I know what the cakes are going to taste like.

2. John Mayer continues to be perfect. I can say that because he sang me a few songs at the American Airlines Center last week. No big deal.

3.