Stick a Fork in Me

I'm DONE!

I am still waiting for it all to hit me. I thought about it all day at work today. I joked about being sentimental to give pre-dinner insulin for the last time at Brack. I wondered if hanging cytarabine would be my last chemo infusion should I not end up working oncology in Virginia. I thought about how it was likely the last time I'll see the people I don't even know on a personal basis: the pharmacists, the docs, the residents, the night nurses I don't know very well. I thought about how I won't be going back next week to find out how one patient did with part 2 of her surgery, or if another patient finally ended up getting to go home.

But I didn't feel any different because none of that really seemed like the last time. When I clocked out I was thinking about what I wanted to eat for dinner and how many dishes are piled up in my sink.

What I do know is I am so excited for brunch tomorrow - I just did a head-count of the people who plan to be there, and there should be around 15 of us, give or take a few. 15 (over-worked/underpaid?!) RNs with Sunday mimosas. I hope Taverna is ready for us. I didn't feel like I got to spend much time with whoever was working with me these past 2 shifts because all of us were busy, and I think my heart needs tomorrow's brunch to actually spend some quality time with this group of people that has been such a positive presence in my life the past two years.

Are you reading this Brack friends? Cuz I love you guys. When I think about all of my hardest days as a nurse, the first thing that comes to mind is how much you all helped me when I needed it the most. I'm proud of the nurse I've become and owe so much of that to you. I feel blessed - maybe even spoiled - to have worked with co-workers as fantastic as you all in the first years of my career. The words "I hate this place" may have escaped my lips on more than one occasion, but I wouldn't trade even the craziest of patients if it meant I had to have co-workers who were any less than the best.

So now what?

Immediate priorities:
1. Introduce moisture back into my hands during this period free of hospital sanitzer. This will be a difficult challenge, but one I am willing to conquer.
2. Baked donuts. I have all these recipes and a donut pan (who owns a donut pan?), and now is the time for experimentation.
3. Houston rodeo and BBQ with my dad next weekend.
4. Read books.

(And, ya know, find an apartment/job/life in Virginia. Baked aforementioned donuts for Andrew when the recipe is perfected. All of these things don't need to be listed, they are just assumed.)

Isn't it amazing when you know you've been through something and spent time with people you'll never forget? Life is so good!