I've been very judge-y today. I get very judge-y when I drive and when I go to the grocery store. Particularly HEB. Is there anything more annoying than HEB? Particularly, the people (zoo animals?) in HEB? Anytime after 12:00 noon is a bad time to find yourself in that store, but precious kitty needed her precious kitty food this afternoon. A few things:

1. Now, exercise is hard, but I have confidence that you can huff and puff your way across the parking lot aisle to get your cart out of my now-ruined parking spot.

2. Stop listening to your i-pod. It makes it difficult for you to hear me growling while you daydream your way down the aisle in a zig-zag pattern.

3. Why don't you go ahead and touch all the apples before you put two in your little baggie? Maybe you should lick them, too. I want to bring as much of this moment home with me as possible.

4. I'm sure you mean well, cute-old-lady-on-a-motor-scooter, but those were my ankles you reversed right into. Check that blind spot.

5. Control your children. Tranquilize them as needed.

6. A pre-requisite for using the time-saving self-checkout is knowing how to use it. The trick is following both the spoken and written instructions, but maybe that i-pod blaring into your ears is putting you at a disadvantage.

And, finally,

7. If you want to take my parking spot as I get the hell out of there, it's courtesy to leave enough room for me to avoid pulling an Austin Powers as I get the hell out of there.

In other news, I saw a former patient during this HEB adventure also. We made awkward eye contact, and it's been driving me crazy since then trying to remember what he was admitted for. I still don't have the slightest idea, but I do know that I didn't like him.

I'm full of sunshine-y information today. Honesty is a virtue.

Actually I guess that's supposed to be "patience" is a virtue, but based on everything I've just said I obviously have none of that.

Happy Saturday! Or Tuesday for those of you with normal jobs and lives :)