I've been very judge-y today. I get very judge-y when I drive and when I go to the grocery store. Particularly HEB. Is there anything more annoying than HEB? Particularly, the people (zoo animals?) in HEB? Anytime after 12:00 noon is a bad time to find yourself in that store, but precious kitty needed her precious kitty food this afternoon. A few things:

1. Now, exercise is hard, but I have confidence that you can huff and puff your way across the parking lot aisle to get your cart out of my now-ruined parking spot.

2. Stop listening to your i-pod. It makes it difficult for you to hear me growling while you daydream your way down the aisle in a zig-zag pattern.

3. Why don't you go ahead and touch all the apples before you put two in your little baggie? Maybe you should lick them, too. I want to bring as much of this moment home with me as possible.

4. I'm sure you mean well, cute-old-lady-on-a-motor-scooter, but those were my ankles you reversed right into. Check that blind spot.

5. Control your children. Tranquilize them as needed.

6. A pre-requisite for using the time-saving self-checkout is knowing how to use it. The trick is following both the spoken and written instructions, but maybe that i-pod blaring into your ears is putting you at a disadvantage.

And, finally,

7. If you want to take my parking spot as I get the hell out of there, it's courtesy to leave enough room for me to avoid pulling an Austin Powers as I get the hell out of there.

In other news, I saw a former patient during this HEB adventure also. We made awkward eye contact, and it's been driving me crazy since then trying to remember what he was admitted for. I still don't have the slightest idea, but I do know that I didn't like him.

I'm full of sunshine-y information today. Honesty is a virtue.

Actually I guess that's supposed to be "patience" is a virtue, but based on everything I've just said I obviously have none of that.

Happy Saturday! Or Tuesday for those of you with normal jobs and lives :)

I don't have many words. My mouth is too full of these cookies for words.

(...and my hands are too full from holding them to type...? Or something).

Actually that's just an excuse to save time because uploading the pictures took a l o n g time. I am not eating these right now because I nearly made myself ill off of them yesterday.

...But there's always tomorrow.

Mix the dry stuff.

Add some softened butter and an egg. Mix on low til it turns into dough (rhyme).

Make balls. Smoosh them.

Take them out right after they've cracked on top. Cool em off.

This filling, ladies and gentleman, is SPOT ON for oreo filling. I was grossed out by the need for shortening, but luckily I'd already spent too much money on organic-y non-trans-fat-y shortening the last time I crossed this bridge. And, in this case as well as the last one, it's completely necessary for texture.

My professional pastry bag.

Organization my dad would be proud of. I'd already smooshed the first 3 pairs together before I remembered to take this.

For the win.

The recipe is from Smitten Kitchen, and the recipe is here. I made mine smaller than hers so they'd be more true to regular-Oreo size, and I ended up with about a million of them. Half a million got sent to Julie to aid in her survival of med school, half a million went down my throat yesterday, and the other half million (?) will keep me happy for the next few days. Milk is a must. You need these in your life, trrrrust me.