I am a wound-up ball of emotion this weekend; you've been warned. Not necessarily in a negative way, though not necessarily always positive either.

My cup is overflowing with the positive: we had beautiful weather this weekend. We spent some time outside browsing the Reston town center and watching Andrew's frisbee game yesterday morning. We tried a new Indian food restaurant near the apartment on Friday night and absolutely loved it. There has been ice cream x 2, epic Harry Potter movie 3D imax (what what!) x 1, and hugs x.... a lot. Right now I have eggs and milk coming to room temperature on the counter so I can make Sunday pancakes when Andrew wakes up.

Did you know that tip about pancakes? There is lots of technique to pancakes. I digress.

On the other end of the emotional spectrum, I'm not very big on mass public disclosure. But, because I don't publicly link to this blog on the ol' F-book anymore, I feel comfortable getting serious for a hot minute with the handful of you that keep the link to this blog.

My dad has had a lucky streak of dodging some bullets in the oncological world in the past few years. I didn't have a very good feeling about it when he called last week with reports of not feeling well lately and something questionable on a CT scan, but there seemed to be reasonable evidence that it might just be nothing. He got his biopsy results quicker than expected, and he said it is a recurrence of a previous testicular cancer. I asked him what the plan was, and he cheerfully responded "chemo!"

Dad will always deliver his worst news in his most positive fashion. Honestly I knew he must have had bad news when he called because of the way he was joking and chatting with Andrew before I could get to the phone. I suppose it's something about being a parent that I might understand some day.

Chemo? Something that, as a nurse who's given it, I know too much about. On one hand the extra knowledge is comforting as the concept of "chemotherapy" isn't as terrifyingly foreign as it would have been a few years ago. I know not all chemo drugs are even close to being the same. I know which ones are more harsh than others. I know what questions I want to ask. I know what I could warn him about. I know what precautions he needs to take after he starts. I know warning signs he needs to look out for.

But this is my dad, and I don't want any of those things for him.


And that's really the bottom line isn't it? I'm his daughter, not his nurse. There is a lot optimism in the fact that this cancer usually responds very well to treatment. I could spit out some numbers and statistics for you.

But talking about "odds" at all is not something that settles in my stomach very well. I don't care what they are. And I guess that's where I'm at this weekend. There really aren't more details at this point other than what I've shared, which I suppose I'm fine with considering the details at hand just don't fit.

"Well, because this happens to other people, not our people." I think Mom did a good job summing it up.

America!!

[heck] yeah!

(I can't drop the F bomb on the blog, it just feels wrong.)

We had a fun 4th of July in our nation's cap-i-tol (channeling F. Gump).

We had brunch at our current (only) fave brunch spot in DC - Founding Farmers - and then we were off to see what there was to see. We caught a part of a super lame parade whose participants looked absolutely miserable (and who can blame them? It was HOT!), and then we walked all the way to the Jefferson memorial since it was Independence Day and such. Between the trek to Jefferson, back to Lincoln, to nowhere, back to Lincoln, to the national mall - WOOF! Andrew mapped it later, and we probably covered about 9 miles on foot. In flip flops.

To say I had back pain at work the past 2 days would be an understatement. Oh the joys of being old and crooked.

The firework show at night was AMAZING - best I've ever seen. And honestly? The rush back to the metro was not that bad, and the 15 minutes of squishing uncomfortably close to a bunch of strangers on the train was not enough to turn us off to the whole thing. Everyone told me "HA! Good luck" when I told them we were going into DC for the 4th, but I didn't think the crowds were anything to write home about!

Oh, and I made pie.

I thought using frozen puff pastry (Dufour brand - worth every penny! Amazing) would make this an easy process, but I was wrong. Maybe I'll give a rundown of the recipe later.

Other news: Harry Potter and Winnie the Pooh both come out next weekend. WE. ARE. THRILLED! I don't think we're doing the midnight premier, but we'll be getting in on the HP action next Friday or Saturday.

Other other news: I'm thankful to live with someone who willingly gives excellent back (and foot!) massages when I need it. I was so tired after 3-in-a-row at work last week that I cried at the pressure to decide where we were going to eat. Who am I?! I get a little wacky when I'm tired and starving.

I'm halfway through my orientation at work, which is kind of terrifying. Time flies! I've gotten comfortable taking 2 easier patients and keeping up with all the workload and documentation, but now we need to start getting sicker patients with more complication, more drips, whatever. I know there will be tons of things I won't get exposed to during orientation, and that makes me really nervous for the day I'm on my own. Everyone helps each other so much, so that won't be an issue, but YIKES! Some of these people are so, so unbelievably sick, I don't want to miss something. My preceptor continues to be ultra supportive - she is even switching her schedule around to go with me for my nightshifts coming up. My hired schedule is 50% days 50% nights, but I only have to do like two weeks of nights during orientation - the first two nights being next week! I'm glad that she'll be making the switch with me - it helps having consistency. Being with somebody else sets me back for half the day because of their tendency to take over before they know where I'm at.

BUT, regardless of all my worrying, I really like being in the ICU. I like being able to focus on two people and having so much information about them at my fingertips, and I like learning how to take care of people that are, essentially, trying their hardest to die.

That's all for now friends. I have a blind girl-date tomorrow with a friend of Pat's from law school. I miss all you girls back in Austin - still working on meeting people out here! I hope all is well in yall's worlds!